2009年02月23日

afraid of being injured

All of us are afraid of being injured
Once racked one's brains and thought that arranged an appropriate topic for us four's story, however, think, find that it is a very difficult thing to remember. Perhaps, what I need even more is a cigarette lighted now. We always attempt to find some around similarly with the expression in one's eyes considered, wait until wanting to gather finally, the ones that expect simultaneously are all the same a word " know early it is a people having a common goal, we would not be so lonely " . Some people like anaesthetizing oneself with wine. Cry, smile. Can by forgetting about to make the excuse all in the next day, it is worried to dispense with. However, the greatest grief was originally, everybody was all drunk, I woke up alone. Has heard or seen far too much separation and reunion, and the same plot has deduced in our story, wait until, switch back, but find we have already lost it among this world. Just as stand in some place, pursue the passing figure, see it go far gradually, but powerless.

The story of us, already been cast aside in this world, it is not romantic, because it is a true story, to four protagonists in the story, that is but a section of stories with color like the strong legend, like a mythology, because everyone of us has not found time to catch.

Has had such a picture in the brain all the time, we four stop on a piece of bank of the river, there is not a bridge on the river surface, but we will pass by this river, the only method is to walk along the thin ice in the river surface, I, and lily melancholy to right away set foot on these layer of ice, the ice sends out the sound of bursting apart frequently, we afraid walk haltingly, advance carefully very, when go to, us, it is excessive to think cloud and pale behind for me to go back very, they stand in where it is, I have not spoken, turn over the head and continue going ahead.
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Through the whole journey, that kind of difficulty of my unable speech, I feel what one's own every nerve is split open tightly, the blood trickling in the blood vessel has already become rash and hot, I thought, so long as can pass by this river, can forever together, but when I set foot on the other bank, find not behind empty, the tear has flowed quickly, I realized at last at the time of that, she is unable to accompany me to go to the end, even if all of us have firm hearts, but God like, concerned about, at our side, turn on, blow one joke for us often always.

I think to the other bank of river, the cloud stands silently there, as empty as me too by her, has left in vain, I do not know why, the cloud says to me, he has left, us four, only I stand in where it is never moving, she has smiled, I have seen her smile, but I know that has not included in this kind of smile being knowing, do not mostly give up and unwilling to believe. The smile is stiff, however, after all much better than I, lose, as to the person really loving it it is a change, it is the enough change will and thought the one one,we the unwilling in the face of,last oneself eyes of us, they have really walked. The cloud, or has cried.
This picture does not exist in reality, it is only my plot to four people, its result and reality but it is the same, the lily is forced leave by resistance, but I stand in the place that says good-bye, only have clouds left too opposite to me, has job-hopped in vain, has left the starting point of the love.

We four have never separated, has lingered on the peace and quiet street together, two pairs of lovers talk in professional jargon face-to-facely, together under the circumstances that the strong sunshine shine, take a walk hand in hand, a warm unrestrainedness, covered with skies of overcast crimes, we run at a fast pace, the sound of smiling at the purine of purine drifts back and forth, in the weather that that rainwater flashes, I stand in a small corner holding lilies, it is warm to give to her, perhaps, even if I will not feel either that there are heating parcels to use up the last silk temperature lily, but the lily is very satisfied, because the move which I mind, can make her happy, we are so happy. Because this sky belongs to us, belong to us four, it should be as long as the heaven and earth endure that we have made a vow in this sky, should lead to go down all the way with mutual hand each other forever, however, changed when we are in the face of the setback, it is scattered to condemn all of due happiness.


I can't bear the leaving of the lily, because we have love of two years, I am used to her existence, am used to holding her feeling every day, because is happy, have forgotten the distance between each other, it is not the distance between heart and heart, not the distance in the reality. But the one that concealed among the population at our side was not lined with, we have not always felt the bomb buried at one's side, , we become speechless because of astonishment when the bomb explode, the ones that have not found time to run yet and has already been bombed are black and blue all over, extremely unwilling unclamping the hands that is still held, set her free to leave away,

Gentle comfort oneself, she force, have the right to choose lily can interfere loss, here while facing relative and lover, the choice that more people make will be the same as lily, this kind of thought comes from the simple meaning in the brain, is the responsibility to relatives of parents for the family. I know, if really keep her, I can succeed in, provided that the lily will never be happy, the sense of guilt betrayed will make her unable to accept oneself. I do not want to take her happiness in all one's life and do stakes, then I went all out, see her leave silently.

Long long ago I said to the cloud, the love was a swirl, the possibility left that did not leave if step on, can falling into deep enter only, wait until some day past some, already late when you found this is a swirl, know, can at all melancholy to beat, enter either, I say these are because I do not want to see the cloud can not laugh, want, see cloud get, cry still more, I whether piece people that love tie down, degenerate for the love too, to leave me to be unable and forgotten, can think oneself very dull very dull accepting a person she, forget one, but I can accomplish, because I choose one can give me people for all one's life.

" Inform and give up " These two words are too heavy, I thought the cloud will accept my suggestion, what a pity, the cloud has cried, perhaps, she hopes to look for one to depend on, wants to look for a person liking it and accompany oneself, a spacious and warm harbour is for oneself to avoid the stormy waves, for cloud, it is unimportant that it is perfect whether he is, he that it is important has a sincere heart, no matter what is met difficult, will be in the offering support quietly behind oneself. Do not ask reciprocating. The cloud is very innocent, her idea is unrealistic too, everybody is unable to totally accomplish selfless this layer, pay it too and set up on the repayment more or less. No exception in vain, all of us are unable to accomplish this,

All refuse the white requirement clouds, has been thinking all the time whitely, will only lose, I am a lifelike example, just he has not seen, I get, lose too, lose, have something to be different, satisfy psychology, make me ache, forget still more still more, this white way is a kind of injury to the cloud, the cloud is a person who just entered into the society, all these she is the unable also with accident in the face of,because full of more she to the world by bright yearning, hardly realize, the disparity between reality and image is too great,

Cloud I treat me as brother, I and white good friend, walk I know, should go who does it help in the middle of they both, perhaps, more I will be inclined to the cloud, it is diligently to be white, but I do not understand why he walks, because the cloud say say good-bye? If so white and getting wrong really, all of us person that force, it says good-bye to be only result that force, that is untrue, does not say that say good-bye such as crossing the cloud, ones that waited for her are isolating, under the choice that can seen and can't seen, I think, most persons will choose to look from far away each other, it is really a kind of happiness to look at ...

This section of love, just like Shatian, we leave the deep footprint from passing by above, the seal is very clear, like what what we carved is caused and stubbornlied refuse to change is loved. The wind has blown, the seal is fuzzy, sentimentally attached to in though Shatian, can only watch such hiding melting to do warmly sad and drearily, it is the wind that has injured the seal, or has the seal injured Shatian? Who it is injured that who we are? Injure oneself, know such a final result obviously, persist in trying this love with transient scene after all, all injury stem from one's own heart.

We negligible, unable to change anything, perhaps, can laugh at, pick up wineglass when we see everything light, consider a cup of sake, go to hold a memorial ceremony for the love of the death, the raised angle has already been rubed so that vicissitudes have been towering by the wind and frost ,,Years when are stumbled already our love covered with dust too.

All of us are afraid of the person injured. So devotion with all strength, to each other, want, let, love, suffer setbacks. But. The love is a circle going round and beginning again. We have become the ant creeping constantly round this circle, is all afraid of being injured and being injured. Do not know until I today. Originally seemingly perfect thing all have a gap. When perceiving wait, but has already missed That section of love has already unable to come again We are always afraid of being injured, but stand in the place that is injured waiting


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